One of my favorite sayings to people who appear to be in mild distress is..."I know CPR and First Aid, I can help...but only on Wednesday!". Sadly, today, I must retire this saying. As of this afternoon I am a certified EMT-B and due to ethics and whatnot, I now know CPR, First Aid, and a few other things every day. So, now I can maintain your lives as I transport you to our friends Mosey Monkey and My Longtime Friend who can save your lives. (Just in case I'm not around, Ireland's Oldest Ale Drinking America's Finest Beer has also been recently licensed as an EMT-B).
After the exam I spoke with a nice lady while my license was printing. We ended up in a discussion about education, the school systems, and what I wanted to be when I grew up. I suppose that since she knew that I was there to take the EMT exam, that I would somehow or another be wanting to be an EMT. Not an entirely accurate assumption, but not entirely untrue either. I suppose that this is just one more trade that I can be a Jack of but not a Master...
Any way around it all, the answer to the question remains the same. No, I do not know what I want to be when I grow up, hell, I don't think I even want to grow up...I'm kinda having fun now, and although I bitch and moan some days about being a bartender and not having a "real" job, it ain't hard and it ain't a bad gig, most of the time. So until the epiphany comes and the light goes off in my head as to my calling in life and my purpose here...I'm not gonna sit in the waiting room listening to Kenny G, I'm gonna be out wreaking as much havoc as I possibly can.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Inexplicable Obsessions
I am finding more and more that there are certain things to which I am inexplicably drawn. I go through phases of discovery that sometimes become part of my daily habits (some good, some bad), and sometimes entertain me for only a short time.
Just last week I rediscovered tea. I've never really liked tea, but always feel like I should. Tea reminds me a lot of pumpkin pie. I really just don't like anything about pumpkin pie, texture, flavor, crust, the fact that a vegetable is mushed into a pie. The only good thing about pumpkin pie is the Cool Whip that goes on top. Tea on the other hand is supposedly pretty healthy for me, and I am a big fan of unsweetened iced tea, with extra lemon. Hot tea, eh, I can take it or leave it, flavored or plain, herbal or regular. Every now and again, I buy a box of tea bags, and usually end up throwing away the unopened box 6 months later.
My recent rediscovery of tea led me to a few new things. It's really amazing, tea has been around pretty much forever, yet there is a constant blending and re-blending of flavors and herbs and whatever else goes into tea. I decided to try some new herbal teas because, well, they sounded pretty healthy. One is a detox tea that tastes a little bit like day-old-hammered-dogshit, but because it's supposed to detoxify, I will probably drink it anyway...oh, and it cost $4.00 a box. In the same family is another tea I decided to try that is a fasting tea that tastes a little bit like 2-day-old-hammered-dogshit but I will drink that also because it too costs $4.00 a box. Just as I was beginning to think that perhaps I should just stick with the hard reality that I probably just don't like tea, I discovered that I like plain old black regular tea, but only if it comes in a pyramid shaped bag. Yes, the tea is the same, but it tastes so much better when it is steeped in a neat shaped bag.
Inexplicably, this particular pyramid shaped tea bag has made me want a teeny tiny tea set. I don't want a big tea pot, and those are to be found everywhere, I want a little teapot, like in the song. These types of tea pots are not as easy to come by. Thus far in the last week I have been to Target, Kohl's, Linen & Things, Bed, Bath, Beyond, and Kmart looking for this teeny tiny teapot. It is a sense of unrest, almost a haunting, and it is definitely becoming a very small obsession to capture the elusive teeny tiny teapot.
Boar's Head Unsmoked Provolone Cheese...enough said.
Garbage Drinking. I have noticed that over the past few weeks my drinking habits have changed and not for the better. A few days ago PDogg and I went out in early celebration of her birthday, and because we hadn't hung out in a long time. We began the evening with dinner and a bottle of wine. After dinner we had a Mexican beer, an American beer, and a European beer. The beers were followed by Vodka drinks. Here is where I should have stopped, or at least just stuck with the vodka drinks, but I was inexplicably drawn to an extra dirty martini. I have never had one of these in my life and yet, I had to have one that night. The extra dirty martini was followed by water drinks and a dirt nap.
Last night the D-Team and I went out for the first time in weeks. (I call him The D-Team because he drives a van like The A-Team did, only his van is not nearly as cool as the A-Team's van, it's more of a molester-style van, but he's not a molester and he's a pretty cool guy so that if he had a black van instead of a white van he would probably be cool enough to be on the A-Team, but he doesn't so he remains on the D list. And his name starts with D. The D-Team is my usual drinking partner, but due to kid duties, he has been unable to go out). Usually he is a Bud Light & Rumplemintz guy, and I am a Miller Lite & Crown Royal girl (although he's gotten me hooked on the 100proof peppermint)...on occasion we'll mix it up and he'll drink 7&7 and I'll do a vodka drink. Last night it was Miller Lite, Crown Royal, Rumplemintz, Bud Light, Rumplemintz, Miller Lite, Jagerbomb, Vodka drink, 7&7 etc. etc. followed by water drinks. I can't seem to stick to just one or two forms of alcohol though I know that I should because, although it hasn't happened yet, this garbage drinking shit makes me want to vacate my stomach every time.
Every Wednesday this summer I have had an inexplicable craving for lobster, not lobster saute, not lobster salad, not baked stuffed lobster, but regular old boiled lobster. I don't want lobster any other day of the week, just Wednesday...and I don't want to have to cook it either.
I've been wearing flip flops for the past at least 2 years and anymore the very thought of putting on a pair of shoes makes my feet cringe. Other than my sneakers I can count on one hand the number of times I've put closed shoes on my feet in the last 2 years. Last Christmas my mother bought me a pair of slippers from Lands End or LL Bean or some place that became my fur-lined-winter-flip flops. Other than those I only wear Reefs. I know that eventually I will have to ween myself back into wearing shoes, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet.
Just last week I rediscovered tea. I've never really liked tea, but always feel like I should. Tea reminds me a lot of pumpkin pie. I really just don't like anything about pumpkin pie, texture, flavor, crust, the fact that a vegetable is mushed into a pie. The only good thing about pumpkin pie is the Cool Whip that goes on top. Tea on the other hand is supposedly pretty healthy for me, and I am a big fan of unsweetened iced tea, with extra lemon. Hot tea, eh, I can take it or leave it, flavored or plain, herbal or regular. Every now and again, I buy a box of tea bags, and usually end up throwing away the unopened box 6 months later.
My recent rediscovery of tea led me to a few new things. It's really amazing, tea has been around pretty much forever, yet there is a constant blending and re-blending of flavors and herbs and whatever else goes into tea. I decided to try some new herbal teas because, well, they sounded pretty healthy. One is a detox tea that tastes a little bit like day-old-hammered-dogshit, but because it's supposed to detoxify, I will probably drink it anyway...oh, and it cost $4.00 a box. In the same family is another tea I decided to try that is a fasting tea that tastes a little bit like 2-day-old-hammered-dogshit but I will drink that also because it too costs $4.00 a box. Just as I was beginning to think that perhaps I should just stick with the hard reality that I probably just don't like tea, I discovered that I like plain old black regular tea, but only if it comes in a pyramid shaped bag. Yes, the tea is the same, but it tastes so much better when it is steeped in a neat shaped bag.
Inexplicably, this particular pyramid shaped tea bag has made me want a teeny tiny tea set. I don't want a big tea pot, and those are to be found everywhere, I want a little teapot, like in the song. These types of tea pots are not as easy to come by. Thus far in the last week I have been to Target, Kohl's, Linen & Things, Bed, Bath, Beyond, and Kmart looking for this teeny tiny teapot. It is a sense of unrest, almost a haunting, and it is definitely becoming a very small obsession to capture the elusive teeny tiny teapot.
Boar's Head Unsmoked Provolone Cheese...enough said.
Garbage Drinking. I have noticed that over the past few weeks my drinking habits have changed and not for the better. A few days ago PDogg and I went out in early celebration of her birthday, and because we hadn't hung out in a long time. We began the evening with dinner and a bottle of wine. After dinner we had a Mexican beer, an American beer, and a European beer. The beers were followed by Vodka drinks. Here is where I should have stopped, or at least just stuck with the vodka drinks, but I was inexplicably drawn to an extra dirty martini. I have never had one of these in my life and yet, I had to have one that night. The extra dirty martini was followed by water drinks and a dirt nap.
Last night the D-Team and I went out for the first time in weeks. (I call him The D-Team because he drives a van like The A-Team did, only his van is not nearly as cool as the A-Team's van, it's more of a molester-style van, but he's not a molester and he's a pretty cool guy so that if he had a black van instead of a white van he would probably be cool enough to be on the A-Team, but he doesn't so he remains on the D list. And his name starts with D. The D-Team is my usual drinking partner, but due to kid duties, he has been unable to go out). Usually he is a Bud Light & Rumplemintz guy, and I am a Miller Lite & Crown Royal girl (although he's gotten me hooked on the 100proof peppermint)...on occasion we'll mix it up and he'll drink 7&7 and I'll do a vodka drink. Last night it was Miller Lite, Crown Royal, Rumplemintz, Bud Light, Rumplemintz, Miller Lite, Jagerbomb, Vodka drink, 7&7 etc. etc. followed by water drinks. I can't seem to stick to just one or two forms of alcohol though I know that I should because, although it hasn't happened yet, this garbage drinking shit makes me want to vacate my stomach every time.
Every Wednesday this summer I have had an inexplicable craving for lobster, not lobster saute, not lobster salad, not baked stuffed lobster, but regular old boiled lobster. I don't want lobster any other day of the week, just Wednesday...and I don't want to have to cook it either.
I've been wearing flip flops for the past at least 2 years and anymore the very thought of putting on a pair of shoes makes my feet cringe. Other than my sneakers I can count on one hand the number of times I've put closed shoes on my feet in the last 2 years. Last Christmas my mother bought me a pair of slippers from Lands End or LL Bean or some place that became my fur-lined-winter-flip flops. Other than those I only wear Reefs. I know that eventually I will have to ween myself back into wearing shoes, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet.
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